WTF??

Over the past few months I have lost 40 lbs. That is a huge achievement for me. While I am mentally reveling in my thinitude (Yes, I know its not a real word) A lady at work asked me if I was sick. I told her I was dying and she gave me a "Huh" and started to walk away. I told her I was actually Dying for a cupcake and she looked disappointed. Either A. She had claimed the all the worlds cupcakes as her domain or B. She was content in knowing I was knocking on deaths door. Either way that sucked...

Ummm...

My son tells me he had a dream about Angelina Jolie killing peasants with a broken bottle. I think we have problems.

Tattoo You

This is a bit harsh and it may seem narrow minded but what the hell. There is something about shoving ink into your skin that I feel is unnatural. Oh that’s it…Your shoving ink into your freakin skin. Millions of people have tattoos and they are a great group of people I am sure, but why? Why would someone do this to themselves? I have a friend that had a tattoo put on when he was twenty, he is now seventy and it looks like someone attacked him with a sharpie marker. All the lines have run into each other and what was once a panther is now a map of Lake Huron.
The cost is another aspect that is mind blowing. You can get one for only 20$ or you can spend thousands and get a giant portrait of Satan scrawled on your back (I’m sure mom would be proud). Let’s go over the thought process for this one shall we?
¨ I work hard all day to earn money to survive.
¨ After all the bills are paid I have enough money left over to get something for myself.
¨ I like to bleed and feel pain at the hand of someone else.
¨ I really deserve to have my body marred by someone with a tattoo gun.
¨ I am in the mood to take a chance at getting a debilitating blood disease.
¨ I really like that map of Lake Huron I saw last week.
¨ I DESERVE A TATTOO!
That just sounds ridiculous to me. I know what you are going to say. If you don’t like them then A) don’t get one, or, B) don’t look at them. I would never scar myself on purpose nor would I condone a member of my family to do it, also I would not look at them if they weren’t thrown into my face. It is really distracting when you are talking to someone and there is a snake coming out of his or her collar.
Now we come to the argument that “This is part of my heritage”. Baloney. Tell the truth, you like the way it looks. I know that Indians and aborigines painted their bodies. I also know you are not running around throwing spears and scalping people. Honoring selective parts of your heritage is wrong. You should have human scalps hanging from your belt if your doing it right. If that sounds over the top then you need to drag something other than your ancestors through the mud.
Another thing that I am not too sure about is why is it that if you ride a Harley you must tattoo up? Is it the ink in your system that makes you crave overpriced motorcycles or is it the bike that makes you crave ink? I talk about bikers but there is no real demographic that favors ink over another. There are the people you expect like the aforementioned bikers and those you don’t, like your soccer mom. It is a personal preference and you either like em or ya don’t.
It may be the cool thing to do or it may be a rebellious moment in your life, whatever the reason you should look at someone who has had many tattoos and ask yourself would I be proud to look like that? If the answer is yes then more power too ya. If there is the slightest doubt then you really need to think about Lake Huron.


** EDIT TO THIS POST**
For Christmas I got my wife and daughter certificates for a tattoo. It was more to call their bluff but they did it. Now they are scarred for life but I still love them (Though it took a little work)

On the job Training.

I know of this guy that wants to move into a very important position and has tooted his horn to the fact that he is the man to have this job. He does possess some qualities such as, he shows up every day and puts in his hours, he meets the minimum criteria for holding the job, he has more than enough ability to learn with a lot of coaching. Now this job needs to be filled with someone who can hit the ground running and has a bit of leadership skills. Without these skills the entire company will fold. He has commented on how if he gets in the changes will be swift and many, that is not necessarily a bad thing since we can use all the change we can get as long as it is in the right direction. But the question is can you make changes if the learning curve is going to take a year or more? It has been suggested that he takes a bit more time to learn a bit more before we jump in and hand over the position. Half of his time in his current position he has been trying to get this new position. On the other hand we have someone who has been with the company for more than 30 years and knows the ins and outs and can be trusted to not waver on his first tour of duty. Simply enough this is the reason I will vote for Senator McCain and not Senator Obama this November. It is not the only reason but one that should not be over looked. We need change but not to the point where the change will take a lifetime to achieve.
Another thing about the election, The parade of Hollywood Who’s who, can use their latest project to get a public platform and talk about how we need to vote one way or another but all that does for me is to make me not buy a ticket to their movie. It is simple, take a bit of time and read both sides of the argument before making your decision. You have to vote, you really have no option so you might as well do what is best for you and your family. The above paragraph is my view on one aspect and it should not be taken by anyone for himself or herself. This is the time when you need to stand up for your core beliefs and find the candidate that most suits your views not Oprah’s or Matt Damon’s. For me it is pretty clear but I have suffered through many right and left wing nut jobs trying to sell me their candidate and chose for myself who was the least nutty and pulled out the tiny nuggets of truth in order to form my opinion.

My Kids

My Daughter turned 18 this week and I came across this little thing I wrote in 2003, It made me laugh so I thought I would put it up before I lose it

(Friends names have been changed)

My wife and I have been blessed with 2 quasi-normal children, 1 girl and 1 boy. As of this writing (7/15/03) they are 12.9 and 10.6 respectively. My daughter’s name is Katie. She is definitely taking after me in more ways than I would like her to. She is on the cusp of being a full-blown teenager and reminds me of this each time I try to use my child psychology on her. She tries real hard to be a buddy and be interested in the things I like. I guess I should take better advantage of this while I can before she grows up to despise me. She has my sense of humor and my sarcasm and uses it on me, which really gets me going. She can get me worked up and push all my buttons without breaking her stride. We both like to win and when we play board games one of us ends up mad. She has quirkiness to her that I really like. She will come up with things that are so off the wall you have to laugh.

There was a period a few years ago where she did not like her eyebrows. I guess she thought they were too big so with all of her ten-year-old wisdom she decided to trim them down with a razor. Right before school one day she went to work. With the first brow she kind of thinned it out and it was not too bad but the other one had a half-inch bald spot in it. Well you know she panicked knowing she had minutes before mom dropped them off at school so she did all she could. She grabbed a black magic marker and colored them in. Well with all the usual running around to get them to school mom didn’t notice the damage until they got to school. My daughter had started to sweat and black ink had rolled down from her freshly shorn brow to her chin. After a few minutes of internal laughter and a strategically placed Band-Aid she was off. Telling her friends she cut herself, all was right with her little world. One of her friends eventually saw it and believe it or not she lived through it.

Katie has developed a unique style for answering simple questions. It goes something like this:

Summer Vacation and I have come home from work. It’s 3:15 P.M.

Dad: Katie did you clean your room today?

Katie still in her pajamas: Yessss! Mom already asked me that when she called.

Dad looking in her room: Was anybody hurt?

Katie getting up from the couch for the first time today: When?

Dad: when the bomb went off in your room.

Katie with food in her hair: Ha ha. It’s clean

Dad: The empty bag of BBQ chips on your unmade bed is supposed to be there?

Katie huffing and stomping: I’ll get it!

Dad: How about the pile of dirty clothes under your desk?

Katie pushing past me: Wait, I’m getting the bag.

Dad: OK when your done with the bag you can get the clothes, pick up and empty the overflowing garbage can put away the piles of clean clothes and make your bed. I thought you said you cleaned your room.

Katie: I did…On Monday…Sean didn’t clean his room…Why do I have to do everything…This is not fair…

With this the door slams and once again the ritual is complete. In the matter of about 2 minutes I went from “Yea Daddy’s home” to “You are sooo rude”. As I walk through the house I come across a few more battles that I know I will have to wage soon. The feeding of the dogs conflict, the ever popular laundry battle and the mound of dirty dishes crusade. This usually lasts until either her brother gets in trouble or one of her friends’ calls and wants her to come over. The later usually results in the following.

Katie: Dad can I go over to Vulnavias house and go swimming?

Dad: Oh you’re talking to me now?

Katie with a fake puzzled look on her face: Could you just listen?

Dad: I just wanted to make sure you were addressing me. The last I heard, I was rude and mean.

Katie getting a bit huffy: Can I go?

Dad: Is your room clean?

Katie giving up: AAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH (Door Slams)

I know everyone who has a little girl has this problem but you think there would be some kind of support group.

Then we have the boy. My son Sean was presented to the world in 1993. Coincidentally we are still paying him off and if we sold him we would not get what we owe. He goes by many names: Spawn, Sean-o, Little E (He was born on Elvis’s birthday), Boy, Number 2 and God Damnit. Sean (pronounced “Shawn” not “Seen” like many other stupid people with the same name pronounce it) is a wheeler and dealer. A typical conversation goes like this:

Sean pulling his socks on in a frenzy to go outside: Dad how late can I stay over Stymies house?

Dad: You have until 5:00

Sean clueless about the passage of time: How about 5:30

Dad: Sure but when you get home you need to read your book:

Sean: How about if I stay until 6:00 and read until I finish the book?

Dad: That’s a deal!

Sean: If stymie asks if I can have dinner over there, can I?

Dad: I don’t care.

Sean: Can Stymie spend the night if his mom says its OK?

Dad: Has Stymie slept in his own bed in the past few weeks? He always seems to be here.

Sean with his one-track mind: Can he?

Dad: No way, you said you would finish your book tonight.

Sean: I only have 6 pages left then I am done. How about if I finish it now, Can stymie stay the night?

Dad blown away at the turn of events: You only had 6 pages left and you stopped reading? Why? I can’t believe you used that to get what you wanted.

Sean with a proud smirk: You didn’t ask how many pages and since you already agreed then I win.

Dad with years of dad experience under his belt: No you need to read NOW, When you finish you will get another book and read that one until 6:00. NO stymie cannot spend the night and No you may not eat dinner over there. While you are up get me a soda with ice and turn on the fan.

Sean looking like I just thumped his melon screams: Your mean, Can I go when I get done?

Dad: Sure it will be dark out.

Sean: What if it’s not?

Dad done with this conversation: Then you will read until it is. Where is my soda?

Sean: How about if I clean my room, can I play then?

Dad: Soda, fan, Read!

Sean pointing at his sister who is sitting next to me reading: How come she doesn’t have to read?

Dad: The thing in her hands is a book, Copy her or you will lose your video games for a week.

Sean slamming his bedroom door: Oh my Gosh……

Dad: You forgot my soda.

Katie having to throw in her 2 cents: and the fan…..

Dad hi fives Katie.

Sean is a very funny kid though. He comes up with some of the most off the wall things and gets us laughing. I can remember one time his mom came into the room and he had all his comic books all over the place. She said to him ”Look around this room, what is wrong with this picture”? With a straight face he replied “You’re in it”. I thought I was going to die laughing.

This has to be one of the most interesting sites I have found in a while. The premise is simple. You have on you pretty much all you will need to enter the experiment. It is as simple as entering some vital data off a dollar bill or any denomination bill. Write on the bill WWW.wheresgeorge.com and do what we do best. Spend it. Hopefully someone will find it and be curious enough to check it out. After the bill is entered a second time you will be notified one of your bills has been "Hit". It will display how far it has traveled and the approximate speed at which it moved. Of coarse there is always the chance someone from a bank will spot it and pull it out of circulation or it will be tucked away in a piggy bank somewhere so it is all about VOLUME :). I tagged about 10 bills today and sent them on their merry way. I took the liberty (No pun intended) of writing in the margin and put a bit of yellow highlighter on it. Hey work is a bit slow...

It is upon us...

A recession in upon us and it is more than just a temporary lull reduced economic activity, It is full blown. We all have had economic rough patches in our lives but I think none are going to be as remembered as the one that has yet to hit us. Okay It may not be another “Great Depression” but it will be bad and it will be soon. Insurance rates alone are climbing faster than my pay scale allows. That combined with food, gas and the overall increase in everyday things means I am bringing home less now that I was 6 years ago. That scares me to the bone. I heard this morning that on average one in every ten Americans is at least one month or more behind in their mortgage payments. One in ten!
Are my kids even going to be able to move out on their own? Will they get a chance to start living their adult lives with any kind of independence? Assuredly not, how can they? I know of a dozen people who have lost their homes and vehicles, not from a lack of trying but a lack of advantages. It just boggles my mind on how we can expect to live on a decreased income. I hear from those who are sitting pretty say things like “Well maybe they should get another job” or “They are probably wasting their money”. That angers me because I see the working class every day and it is not from a lack of trying. I see people bust backsides for an average take home of 70 bucks a day.
As Bette Davis said in All About Eve, “Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy night!”