Tattoo You

This is a bit harsh and it may seem narrow minded but what the hell. There is something about shoving ink into your skin that I feel is unnatural. Oh that’s it…Your shoving ink into your freakin skin. Millions of people have tattoos and they are a great group of people I am sure, but why? Why would someone do this to themselves? I have a friend that had a tattoo put on when he was twenty, he is now seventy and it looks like someone attacked him with a sharpie marker. All the lines have run into each other and what was once a panther is now a map of Lake Huron.
The cost is another aspect that is mind blowing. You can get one for only 20$ or you can spend thousands and get a giant portrait of Satan scrawled on your back (I’m sure mom would be proud). Let’s go over the thought process for this one shall we?
¨ I work hard all day to earn money to survive.
¨ After all the bills are paid I have enough money left over to get something for myself.
¨ I like to bleed and feel pain at the hand of someone else.
¨ I really deserve to have my body marred by someone with a tattoo gun.
¨ I am in the mood to take a chance at getting a debilitating blood disease.
¨ I really like that map of Lake Huron I saw last week.
¨ I DESERVE A TATTOO!
That just sounds ridiculous to me. I know what you are going to say. If you don’t like them then A) don’t get one, or, B) don’t look at them. I would never scar myself on purpose nor would I condone a member of my family to do it, also I would not look at them if they weren’t thrown into my face. It is really distracting when you are talking to someone and there is a snake coming out of his or her collar.
Now we come to the argument that “This is part of my heritage”. Baloney. Tell the truth, you like the way it looks. I know that Indians and aborigines painted their bodies. I also know you are not running around throwing spears and scalping people. Honoring selective parts of your heritage is wrong. You should have human scalps hanging from your belt if your doing it right. If that sounds over the top then you need to drag something other than your ancestors through the mud.
Another thing that I am not too sure about is why is it that if you ride a Harley you must tattoo up? Is it the ink in your system that makes you crave overpriced motorcycles or is it the bike that makes you crave ink? I talk about bikers but there is no real demographic that favors ink over another. There are the people you expect like the aforementioned bikers and those you don’t, like your soccer mom. It is a personal preference and you either like em or ya don’t.
It may be the cool thing to do or it may be a rebellious moment in your life, whatever the reason you should look at someone who has had many tattoos and ask yourself would I be proud to look like that? If the answer is yes then more power too ya. If there is the slightest doubt then you really need to think about Lake Huron.


** EDIT TO THIS POST**
For Christmas I got my wife and daughter certificates for a tattoo. It was more to call their bluff but they did it. Now they are scarred for life but I still love them (Though it took a little work)